Thursday, July 21, 2011

i'm blue, too

After coming home from the retreat last week I was going to write a blog post about how much I need to regroup, as far as my blog is concerned. I wrote several versions in my head but none of them made it to the page. When it comes down to it, blogging is a whole lot of work, and to be honest, I'm burnt out. Again. The difference this time is that I'm not (quite) ready to give it all up yet. I have so many ideas, so much I still want to do and so much that I want to share with you.

This week, after several comments surrounding my current quilt along, I feel like I just got kicked while I was down. Let me tell you, it feels horrible. Don't people realize that I am here to share my love of quilting with others? That's why I started blogging in the first place. I draw no salary from my blog. When people are demanding of "their" free stuff (who don't even bother to say thank you), and when people feel free to criticize my approach, it makes me think, "why on earth am I doing this anyway?!?" It makes me feel foolish for sharing so freely.

I've lost way too much sleep over this. I've shed some tears over it, too. I know people say you need to have a thick skin, but I don't buy into that. I think that is just giving other people permission to be mean and rude.

I've been debating all week whether or not I should blog about this. I've never written one of "these" type of posts before. I could have written plenty of posts throughout the years concerning people using my photos without permission, rude (and a few downright mean) comments. I could have ranted about people using my patterns to teach classes or lead quilt alongs without asking permission, or about people stealing complete tutorials and reposting them on their blog. I could go on and on. I've bottled it all up until this week. I feel if I don't write something at this point, I'm just being a doormat. I realize that compared to some other friends, I have it easy. But still, I needed to lay this all out here before it ate away at me any further.

I've had some great friends and a neighbor check up on me and see if I was ok--they were very concerned for me. (Which also gave a lot of validity to my feelings.) One friend was downright outraged for me. I can not tell you just how much that means to me. So, if you are one of those kind people who offered concern and encouragement throughout this, thank you. You know who you are. I am so thankful that I have you in my life. It gives me a glimmer of hope that there is still some worth to blogging.


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Anna said...

Dear Amanda,

Despite several years I've been following your blog, I've been silent when it comes to participating on "comments." But I want you to know that there are silent and invisible followers like me, and chances are there are many more admirers out there in the cyber world that you may not know about. I am silent because it is safe. Many times, I have thought about starting my own blog, but it is down right scary to think that I want to make myself vulnerable to complete strangers. And your experience validates my fears of those who are less than kind, considerate or polite.

However, I am thankful that you chose (and continue to choose) to share your talents and part of your life rather than being safe and silent. Because of your generosity, you inspire many others, known & unknown to create and enjoy what we love to do.

Thank you for being the brave one.


bimbi said...

hi amandajean,

I made my 1st quilt for my daughter with your tutorial, and was using my 1st sewing machine too... so you and your blog mean so much to me. I hope you can ignore all the negative people and continue to share your love of quilt, craft, & knowledge with the rest of the world

Big hugs & take care dear friend
:) bimbi

Anonymous said...

I am so there wil you!!!

sulu-design said...

Wow. This is comment #604. Clearly there's some serious blog love for you out there. I can't believe that people put energy into giving you any negative feedback whatsoever. I'm so sorry that you have to put up with it.

I've just caught up with your last several posts since I continue to try to spend less time on the computer myself. I don't want to give up my blog either, but I want to pull away from it a bit. Do what you gotta do and what makes you happy. There's lots of love for you out here.

BJ and Amber said...

I've loved your blog for a long time. I was sad when you stopped blogging for a while, and super happy when you came back! You're talented. Thank you for sharing what you do. Quilting is such great therapy and I hope you don't ever stop blogging about it. Sorry you've had to deal with some awful things. Hope you can look at the bright side! Thanks again for all your hard work and inspiration!

Lisa said...

no no no, people are crazy online! I don't understand it. but YOU are amazing and we all love your work and what you offer us: so much inspiration! thank you!!

Rose Marie said...

So far, I have seen two of my quilts made up into patterns and being sold. I do understand how you feel. But, many others have asked permission to use my ideas for classes, for their guilds, etc. and that makes my day. Like you, my blog is there to inspire others to create/to quilt and that is what keeps me going.

Don't stop your blog .... you have inspired so many people around the world and you are very much appreciated.

Do take a break when you feel down. It is good for the soul and you will come back stronger and full of ideas to share. I'm on a break right now and enjoying not thinking about posting, etc.

Whatever happens in the blog world, just remember to have a happy stitching day.

Holly said...

You are my inspiration and hero for putting your highly creative work out there for the rest of us to admire! Please know how much we appreciate you and your excellent work! Sending hugs of encouragement!

Kristi said...

Your blog is the one that got me reading craft blogs and sewing again. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please keep posting!

Heather said...

I just found your blog, through Moda, and LOVE it! People are always going to be cruel and I think the internet makes it so much easier. I am so sorry people are treating you this way. I was raised by my grandmother and she taught me one very important rule: "If you can't say anything nice, keep your mouth shut!" Thank you for sharing your talent and your love for such a wonderful art. I am only 24, but I have always adored making things, and watching my aunts quilt was always the coolest thing. My husband calls me an old soul, so finding quilting blogs is right up my alley. :) Keep blogging and sharing your knowledge and beautiful art. :) Hugs and again, Thank you so much. :)

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