i'm blue, too

After coming home from the retreat last week I was going to write a blog post about how much I need to regroup, as far as my blog is concerned. I wrote several versions in my head but none of them made it to the page. When it comes down to it, blogging is a whole lot of work, and to be honest, I'm burnt out. Again. The difference this time is that I'm not (quite) ready to give it all up yet. I have so many ideas, so much I still want to do and so much that I want to share with you.

This week, after several comments surrounding my current quilt along, I feel like I just got kicked while I was down. Let me tell you, it feels horrible. Don't people realize that I am here to share my love of quilting with others? That's why I started blogging in the first place. I draw no salary from my blog. When people are demanding of "their" free stuff (who don't even bother to say thank you), and when people feel free to criticize my approach, it makes me think, "why on earth am I doing this anyway?!?" It makes me feel foolish for sharing so freely.

I've lost way too much sleep over this. I've shed some tears over it, too. I know people say you need to have a thick skin, but I don't buy into that. I think that is just giving other people permission to be mean and rude.

I've been debating all week whether or not I should blog about this. I've never written one of "these" type of posts before. I could have written plenty of posts throughout the years concerning people using my photos without permission, rude (and a few downright mean) comments. I could have ranted about people using my patterns to teach classes or lead quilt alongs without asking permission, or about people stealing complete tutorials and reposting them on their blog. I could go on and on. I've bottled it all up until this week. I feel if I don't write something at this point, I'm just being a doormat. I realize that compared to some other friends, I have it easy. But still, I needed to lay this all out here before it ate away at me any further.

I've had some great friends and a neighbor check up on me and see if I was ok--they were very concerned for me. (Which also gave a lot of validity to my feelings.) One friend was downright outraged for me. I can not tell you just how much that means to me. So, if you are one of those kind people who offered concern and encouragement throughout this, thank you. You know who you are. I am so thankful that I have you in my life. It gives me a glimmer of hope that there is still some worth to blogging.